| CHAPTER I. | The Story begins with Relics, where many a one ends, | 13 |
| CHAPTER II. | In preparing Statistics of the Population, and tables on Political Economy, we should pay especial attention to what appears on the Surface. As there may have been other persons alive in our places, now below the surface, so there may once have been other mansions where now are found but such as these, | 26 |
| CHAPTER III. | GENTLEMEN who sell their Cattle, Sheep, and Hogs by Auction, so contrive it that the highest bidder gets them: so they realize. When a lot of Paupers is disposed of at Auction, the town so contrives it that the lowest bidder gets them: so the town realizes, | 33 |
| CHAPTER IV. | CAPTAIN Isaac Bunce, Mrs. Bunce, all the Bunces, more especially the Captain, who has a moral and religious standard. His merciful convictions have a triumphal ascendency over his daily overt practice, and rule him uncommonly well disposed, | 38 |
| CHAPTER V. | JOE HARNDEN and his visitors. When visits and calls are made they should be civil and short. Do not bore a friend to death by the length of your civility, but cut it short off before he shall even begin to wish you hadn't called at all, | 49 |
| CHAPTER VI. | "WE'VE fifteen poor folks, lacking the last death -- Joe Harnden." -- Squire Ben. Stout's Remark. It is well to keep the Population intact, to know exactly what to say when the Government gets in readiness for the National Census. A correct Census is the glory of an Administration, | 56 |
| CHAPTER VII. | THE Haddocks, | 70 |
| CHAPTER VIII. | BEEF for the Pauper. "He that considereth the poor, lendeth to the Lord." The immense deposits of virtuous credits laid up by a great many stock-towns in New England, of and for their regard for the Poor, it will take a good while in the next world to estimate, | 77 |
| CHAPTER IX. | NORTHERN fear of the Poor-House. The Peppers. Very poor people, and people not the poorest, often and generally envy the rich. It was an early development in society that riches carried great weight, so all the poor people have been mad after them. Here we show you what a pleasant thing it is to be rich, | 92 |
| CHAPTER X. | DUTY leads in the way of securing and laying in Provisions. JIMS vs. DAN, and Dan vs. Jims, | 103 |
| CHAPTER XI. | MAG DAVIS. -- Were it not for beautiful Woman in this world, we should not have half the respect for ourselves that we now exercise, nor would Society so rise to the dignity of an Institution. As it is, we highly congratulate ourselves, and as to Woman are strictly conservative, | 113 |
| CHAPTER XII. | THE Ladies' Benevolent Society. Miss E. Flush, President, | 128 |
| CHAPTER XIII. | FIRE. Water is the natural element with which to oppose fire. The circumstances must be quite unfavorable, therefore, when it remains unextinguished even in the presence of this agent, | 145 |
| CHAPTER XIV. | THE Little Incendiary. Be very careful how you stand up for an Incendiary. The Partaker is as bad as the Thief, you know, | 154 |
| CHAPTER XV. | ALANSON, | 171 |
| CHAPTER XVI. | JIMS at the Manse, | 182 |
| CHAPTER XVII. | THE Tuckers. Very remarkable character like that of a Johnson, a Pitt, a More, a Bonaparte, or a Washington, but occasionally gleams on the path of human life. It becomes our duty, consequently, to ponder well every such appearance, and endeavor to estimate the chances in favor of any one age or country reaping the honor of it; for great, indeed, is that honor, | 195 |
| CHAPTER XVIII. | CRAPE for Aunt Dorothy. Crape is a great institution. It belongs to the Genus Sackcloth, and so hails from Job, and other far off Personages. Government goes for crape. An Administration that wouldn't vote "thirty days" crape would be put down; Jobbers and Consumers would rouse the nation, and Old Monopoly get awfully crushed between them. You never see a Dignitary, a Dogmatist, a Delectable, a sensible Bachelor, or a sincere Widower who marries the second and third time aerly for the sake of his children, despising crape! | 205 |
| CHAPTER XIX. | SERMON to the Paupers. Was it or was it not a Gospel Endeavor? There is a great itching now-a-days to preach Homiletics and Philosophic Yams, and some preach like Yellow Dandelions and Buttercups! The Gospel's the Gospel for a' that, and happy soul is he who preaches it, | 212 |
| CHAPTER XX. | NORTHERN Human Chattels. Where is Aunt Dodge? | 219 |
| CHAPTER XXI. | PAUPERS not their own masters or law-makers; which appears very like a state of Involuntariness -- were it not in New England! | 232 |
| CHAPTER XXII. | HAS Mr. Warren lost that box? He may fancy so. He may even search in vain for it. He may give the case into the hands of the Police, who are sure to find stolen property. But after all, is the box lost? | 237 |
| CHAPTER XXIII. | HAG! | 243 |
| CHAPTER XXIV. | WHAT happened to the Cabin. Remarks upon Cabins are useless, for they fulfill their day, never behind, never ahead of it. They are a standing Prophecy of Shelter and Refuge to Society. They show us, that if we cannot live in a Palace, we can in a Hut. Ho, the Cabin! | 257 |
| CHAPTER XXV. | POLLY in the Ruins, | 262 |
| CHAPTER XXVI. | WHAT'S to be done? | 268 |
| CHAPTER XXVII. | CAPTAIN Bunce settles a score with Jims, and Jims with bastardy and pauperism. Remarkable geniality discoverable in unpropitious circumstances, which is proof that Society is homogenous and vital. Flaws are Exceptions to the Rule. The Rule remains, | 274 |
| CHAPTER XXVIII. | "WE should of course miss a Pauper, Mr. Savage, of course!" It is quite a Mathematical certainty that two and two are four; and that if one be taken from four, there are left but three. Now, as Pure Mathematics is a dead certainty, we have no difficulty with it until we yoke to it our Moral Certainties. Then we may say, "Of course. Mr. Savage!" But there's a lingering doubt -- an absence of Demonstration, after all, | 290 |
| CHAPTER XXIX. | MRS. Armstrong's great apprehension. Poverty is very ugly to look straight at! | 300 |
| CHAPTER XXX. | THE Missionary's Letter. We have known one Missionary who complained that he couldn't be thankful enough, and another who complained that he was too thankful. So we fancy that somewhere near the middle of the beam lies the true emotion, | 307 |
| CHAPTER XXXI. | ABRAHAM Bacon and Mrs. Bacon, Mr. and Mrs. Siddleton -- actors all, in the grand Pauper Drama, representing Shrewdness, Profit, Speculation, Genius, Morality and Religion, | 315 |
| CHAPTER XXXII. | THE Paupers at Auction. To many a one there is a charm in the very sound of the word "Auction." And so at auction decent people often buy those goods they neither need nor really desire. But they find a comfort in having bought them "low -- at auction!" Much good may they do them. Rag, Tag and Bobtail, are often bolted off with Good, Better, Best, at the Sales: so one bids off the former for the sake of the latter. "When one takes lot ALL of the Town's Chattels, he of course takes the good and the bad. Contrary to the usual notion, however, the good paupers in such a trade are, the weak-ready-to-die-off class; the bad, the healthy, strong, good-livers! Kind Providence! save Thou us and ours from this block, | 326 |
| CHAPTER XXXIII. | THE Ministers get hold of it. Let us see what they think, | 339 |
| CHAPTER XXXIV. | 100,000 Brick. Paupers at twenty cents a day for the lot -- i.e., "one forty" per week: a considerable amount of money, all things taken into the account, | 356 |
| CHAPTER XXXV. | MR. SIDDLETON'S idea of the Gospel. Somehow or other our ideas are not always the same, nor are they always just. But if we happen to hit on right notions, by all means let them out. They may do somebody good, | 368 |
| CHAPTER XXXVI. | THE European Tour. Blind Henrietta, a Teacher of Good Things, | 380 |
| CHAPTER XXXVII. | CHRISTIAN Benevolence. Dan, | 389 |
| CHAPTER XXXVIII. | MISS E. FLUSH argues for the Sacred Scriptures vs. the Righteous Poor. It is well to let the Scriptures interpret themselves on some questions; when we interpret them, it is very often to favor our cause. But if you are in want of a good, sagacious interpreter of Holy Writ, send for Emeline Flush, | 400 |
| CHAPTER XXXIX. | Grandfather Sherman, | 4l4 |
| CHAPTER XL. | A NORTHERNn Doughface; --! | 426 |
| CHAPTER XLI. | MISS FLUSH pays a visit to the Poor-House. She forms a high estimate of the personal charms and character of Miss Margaret Davis, and appears in what may be called a new character herself. So thinks at least Lawyer Tools, whose professional business leads him closely to scrutinize individual members of society in what changes soever they may appear, | 434 |
| CHAPTER XLII. | Search for Property. Writers on Political Economy represent Labor as the only source of wealth, for by 'labor all the wealth of the world,' as says Mr. Adam Smith,' was originally purchased.' It is labor that gives value to all commodities and products. At the same time, what miserable creatures we should all prove to be, were it not for Capital. We have it then, 'SEARCHING' implies LABOR, and 'for property,' CAPITAL. We hope James searched a good while before he finally abandoned it, | 448 |
| CHAPTER XLIII. | JAMES in the Town-meeting. Very humorsome times they frequently have in Town-meetings, there being generally present all the great men and all the small men of the place, not a few of whom offer their sentiments oratorically to their fellow-citizens, and the great men bow very low to the small men, and the small men shake their heads, look wise, and can't say precisely who they shall vote for. | 454 |
| CHAPTER XLIV. | THE new Town Farm. Dreams take a high rank. Mercy mingles in the cup of Poverty. Reunion of old Ideas, nothing inconsistent with modern improvements and innovations, | 464 |
| APPENDIX, | | 475 |
